I wonder who am I when my quest for my own sense of self has brought me to this moment of understanding the gestalt experience of this non performance of an expected action.
As I live in some kind of dream that I imagine would be more connected to the essence of who I am.
As an actress , singer, dancer I am held within the essence and energies of who I really am….my Soul in a natural exchange with others and back to me…giving and taking of large , steady consistent payments for services rendered etc.
As an Astrologer & Astrological Life Coach, I feel like a beggared charlatan with a bleak past, bleak future and barely, just barely holding on in this “trying to have hope, and hopefully getting it together to live to study, work and market myself kind of cold stressful lonely brokered present. This has been going on for at least the past 15-20 years gone by now.
This must stop.
And it must stop here, now, today. This very moment!
I affirm using this moment of despair, no money, troubles and a dirty apartment with too much laundry to do….as a moment of picking myself up by the bootstraps, dusting myself off and to start all over again.
Good girl! Good woman that I am! And quite grateful to be so!
All by myself?
Not liking that.
Seeking to change that!
Today I have 2 non paying sessions,(clients), one which require work….the other a sight read and talk.
I don’t want to be a beggared charlatan.
I want to find my way……
I shall work on my profile and work on my connections and my profile on LinkedIn and get to that Astrology Meetup on November 8th.
Get advertisements out!
Contact past clients.
Get Carole Simone her chart……
And become a prospering Astrologer & Astrological Life Coach.
A prospering and very ultra magnificent adept professional.
And there shall thus be acquired all the money and income that I need.
So be it!
And so must it be!